The Mundane and Not so Mundane
Posted by reikiheidi
This post is going to be a bit of an eclectic mix, because of life’s happenings recently, the way I’m feeling and the way my brain is working. I promised myself when I began this blog that it was going to be an on-going account of my life as experienced from the Spiritual along with every day ‘normality’. I have struggled to write anything at all recently, because of the way I have been feeling, but now I want to write, to explain, describe, and reach out to you, to explain my recent experiences.
My doctor did some blood tests on me after I went to see him about my emotional ‘meltdown’. The tests came back absolutely fine – in fact, the doc said that they were the best blood tests he’d seen in a long time. So, not anaemia, or anything else physically wrong with me. It was- is – all emotional/mental. What on earth has caused me, I wonder, to have ‘perfect’ results from the blood tests? I suspect that Reiki may have something to do with this. I can’t prove it, but there is no other reason I can think of that would cause this: I try to eat healthy, but I’m not obsessive about it, I walk a lot – everywhere, in fact, I don’t drive – but do no other exercise. I’m vegetarian, but so are a lot of other people. Yes, I do believe that Reiki, and meditation, have a positive physical impact, and even the idea, the possibility, that these mechanisms could be keeping me in good working order is an encouragement to continue using them.
Since then I have had my ups and downs – our break away helped a lot – but, again, the doc said that I am doing most of the work myself to get out of the negative cycle – more so than anyone else he has seen, and he ‘is really impressed with [my] progress’. Again, what’s the difference? Why am I able to do this in a matter of weeks, when others struggle? I believe there are a number of reasons for this:
– A strong, supportive family unit who I am able to reach out to, who understand, and are prepared to just listen to me, and/or help when it is required/needed.
– My own desire to not be dragged down. I KNOW it’s no good for me personally, and certainly isn’t good for my family, especially my young children. I don’t want them suffering.
– My ability and desire to express myself creatively. It is so hard to motivate yourself to do anything when you feel down, but just attempting to write poetry, stories – even writing in my journal, ranting – all this created a cathartic effect, helping to ease the stress and negativity.
– My Spirtuality/Spiritual beliefs. Even when I don’t feel motivated to ‘connect’ in any way, I know that my Guides, the Angels, the god and goddess, the Void, and Reiki energy are all still there… waiting in the wings, as it were. And just knowing this has given me strength.
I have been feeling much more positive and relaxed lately, and I’m sure the sunshine has had a lot to do with that. A wave of increasing energy – and also FEAR – FEAR that things aren’t ever going to move forward for me (Fear is perhaps THE greatest motivator to changing one’s life) has enabled me to continue a project that I put aside last year. An on-going project that demands my attention and full focus, and one that is positive and is filled with hope. Picking this up again has created a determination in me that I have not felt for a very long time. This has been its own magic in helping to transform me!
I also reconnected with the Angels and Araianrhod too, the other night. I thought it was about time. I wanted to honour both, for having visited me in their own ways and times, and also to ask a few questions of them. It was a simple affair, a meditation/trance state rather than anything lengthy and complex. I thanked the Angels for being with me, and asked them about creating self-love. About coming from a place of self-love, and to self-love. The idea of self-love is not a selfish one, for the way we feel about ourselves affects the way we act and behave, which then affects others. The answer I got back on this was, to not worry – it was being sorted. Excellent news!
I then turned my attention to Arianrhod. I Thanked her for ‘sending’ me to visit the sea, and to ask her, ‘okay, so what next? What happens now?’ I also wanted Her to know that I just wanted to acknowledge and honour Her, for Her appearance to me was a gift; a surprise unasked for.
Now I nearly wrote this as a separate post and indeed, it could be one. However I decided in the end that this is all part and parcel of my current journey and experience. This time I did not ‘see’ Arianrhod, but I felt her presence. My hands, resting in my lap, filled with a ball of energy. I had a vision of my arm, upraised, and a silver charm bracelet with silver stars dangling from it being placed on my wrist – yet another gift from this Goddess! I was truly humbled – what have I done to deserve such honour? I wondered. I sent out my heartfelt thanks, and was replied with the ‘idea’ of getting a book about Arianrhod.
It is as though She, the Goddess, is holding herself back from me, yet is telling me that She likes me. Why, I do not know. I feel like I am being led on a new path, or journey… Is she waiting for something from me? Or is she leading me towards something? She is a mysterious figure, one not easy to discover, but obviously, I need to keep working with Her to find out more. So, I have a direction: to find a book about Her. A task harder than it sounds.
Yesterday I took the time to do a Reiki healing on myself. I felt so much better afterwards, so clear and full of energy. And yet – today has been a low day. This has its own lesson for me…
Balance. Life needs to be lived: things have to be done. But healing (Reiki has an accumulative effect), working with the Goddess, and writing, are all ways of healing for me. And I need to incorporate them all in my life, in a balanced way, to continue improving, and get to where I SHOULD be.
In the meantime, I’m keeping my eyes peeled for a silver bracelet with silver stars. If you happen to come across one, please let me know!
If anyone has any comments or guidance in respect of Arianrhod, or indeed anything else in this post, please do share!
As always, blessings be.