As you know if you read my previous post (see here), I’ve been a little down lately and struggling to cope with every-day life. Well, the weekend just past saw me and my partner at a lovely hotel, on our own, and grandparents looking after the children. This is the first break we have had since my now 19 month old son was born. No wonder I was getting stressed!
The weekend was wonderful – 2 nights away, and it felt like a week. We did nothing- quite literally nothing, just whiling away the hours as we wanted, sleeping in the afternoon, and just enjoying ourselves. It is amazing what a break from normal routine can do for you. Being away not only from the children but from the house, from the city, gave us the mental and emotional space to clear our cluttered minds, and hit the ‘reset’ button. We came back feeling refreshed, relaxed, and happy – and looking to plan our next break away!
On Monday we went to the beach. It started out as a lovely warm day, the promise of spring in the air. This impromptu decision served 2 purposes: 1) It fulfils my obligation to Arianrhod, (See here) and 2) our boy has not as yet seen the sea. So we decided why not? A lovely follow-on to our relaxing break, to just spend time at the sea. The whole ritual was wonderful; getting out of the house, a leisurely walk to the train station, the train ride… and ah, there it is, the sea! Our boy thought it was great, though didn’t quite dare to get his feet wet – and I don’t blame him, the water was freezing! But the point was – we made the effort to go and enjoy ourselves, not get caught up in all the should-dos of housework. The grin on my son’s face was joyful, running around on the beach and seeing all the sights, and that in itself reminded me – children are so in the moment, to them, it is the experience that matters. Nothing else. Just being.
Yes, that’s me, and no, it wasn’t as cold as it looks in the photo! But the expanse of the sea, the potency, the sheer continuity of it – just to reconnect with the sea again opened up a beautiful feeling inside of me, emphasising the relaxed and contemplative state.
All of this has made me think, has reminded me – that sometimes, we have to take the time to make time for ourselves. Life is so busy, there is always 100 things to do. But the point is – if we don’t look after ourselves, then things are just going to get worse. A little selfishness now and then is not a bad thing. We need to ‘reset’ ourselves every now and again, we need a ‘time out’, just for us, to bring us back into balance and harmony. And that is not going to happen by itself – we need to make it happen. We need to say I deserve to have this time to myself, or this holiday or this treat and then plan it, and make sure we do it!
So I urge you: DO it! Be selfish! Go and have some fun! Take the time to make some time – just for you! I certainly feel much, much better for doing so!
As for fulfilling my obligation to Arianrhod – it seemed such a simple thing. The effect this has had is subtle – no big fireworks mentally or in the physical realm, but I believe a part of the advice was to give me everything that I have stated above: To think about life, about relaxing, about being in the moment. The rest of it I have yet to work out – these inner realm/Otherworldly things often take a while to seep through or absorb. I also feel that a meditation and a reconnection to the Goddess of the Silver Wheel is in order. I may gain further insight or instruction, but mostly to get an insight into her, what She stands for, and why she bade me do this. I will keep you updated with this – if it is appropriate, and interesting, of course!
I had an experience last night that was so unusual and amazing that I feel I just have to share it.
I’ve not been feeling myself lately (hence the delay in blogging): I’ve been very low – in mood, energy, and physicality. I am constantly tired, and feel like I am living in shades of grey. I have not been giving my children the mother they deserve. So last night, I did a ritual to ask for help.
After casting the circle and inviting and welcoming the four elements (Air; Fire; Water: Earth), I called specifically on the Mother aspect of the Goddess to help me. I asked her to help me banish the negativity around me and in me, to give me, as a Mother and as a Woman, patience; love; joy; calmness; to be the mother I should be, to know that I can be.
I am not going to go into the full ritual here, but I want to share with you the vision that I was granted as I sat quietly, eyes closed, waiting for a message from the Mother.
I saw the Goddess – or more accurately, I should say a Goddess – with raven black hair, pale skin, and a white robe. It was night-time, a dark sky, with stars scattered above crystalline clear. The Goddess was skipping across the sea, and she held in her hand a Silver Star. I greeted her, thanking her for coming to me. (I was a bit bemused, as this was not what I had been expecting – normally visions/messages with the goddess is just words in my mind, or somewhere earthy). She looked at me and said, “You’ve lost your power.” I nodded. “Here, eat this”, and she put a gift into my hand – it was a white sphere, hand sized, like the moon or a pearl. To be given a gift in a vision is an honour and means something in the physical world. I lifted my hands to my mouth and ate half of the white sphere. The rest, at some inner direction, I placed in my heart, third eye, and crown chakra. As I did so, I felt a wave of clean energy/different energy surround me. The Goddess smiled, and I thanked her for the gift, and asked Her what I can do for her in return. She replied “Visit the Sea!”
That was it – seems like such a small price to pay, yet it is something that must, absolutely, be done – a Goddess’ favour is not something to be taken lightly.
Then, Her consort appeared beside Her and clasped hands with Her. He looked at me with clear, intense eyes, and said only “You need him” (meaning my partner). They were reminding me of the support network, and of the balance of energies that comes with a special partnership. With that, they were gone.
When I had finished the ritual, it dropped into my mind to look up online ‘Goddess of the Silver Star’. Now, for those of you have read previous posts, you know that I worship the Triple Goddess, and not any single specific deity. I wasn’t sure what this search was going to bring me – but my intuition is rarely wrong. Imagine my surprise then, when two sites came up under this search, with the Goddess Arianrhod!
I was further amazed, because Arianrhod is not a Goddess I know anything about except Her name. And when I read these sites – Her image is EXACTLY as She had appeared to me; She is a Mother aspect Goddess (as oppsed to Maiden or Crone, or representing any other aspect that many specific Goddesses do); and She is linked with the moon, stars, and sea! So everything She represents was shown true in my vision – despite my not having known anything about Her.
I felt humbled, amazed, awe-struck. And also puzzled, in a good way, that a Goddess unknown to me chose to come to me, and not only that, but grace me with a gift. This is one of the most fantastic experiences I think I can honestly say I have had – certainly the most intuitive! My happy task now is, of course, to further research Arianrhiod, and to work with Her further.
I hope you have enjoyed this journey and experience, and I welcome any comments you choose to share, and to answer any questions you may have – if I can! Please also feel free to share any similar experiences you have had.
In the name of the Goddess Arianrhod – Blessings be!
- Meeting The Triple Goddess (reikiserpent.wordpress.com)
- Arianrhod, Celtic Star Goddess (feminismandreligion.com)