I have been itching to write this post for some time, however I have been, metaphorically speaking, running to catch up with myself as so much has happened. Finally I have the space, time, and energy to write this and let you all know what has been happening.
Some of you may have read my post about ‘Reiki & Shamanism’, where I talk about the fact that I use Shamanic practices in some areas of my life. Well, since that post, a few days after in fact, a strange happening occurred… I had a strange headache: It tingled, it made me feel ‘odd’, but didn’t hurt like a headache. As the day wore on, I began to feel disorientated and sick. Yet I was not ill, I didn’t have a cold, there was nothing else wrong with me. This feeling persisted continuously for another day, at which time I had a lay down to Reiki heal myself. I asked my Guardians for help, and asked them directly ‘what is this?’ I had the feeling they were reluctant to tell me, they got on with doing… something to me, but I kept drifting off. All I got from them was the word ‘Seperation’. My partner also Reiki’d me… and told me that he saw a black shard in my 3rd eye chakra, cobwebs in my aura, and my aura was fractured from my head (where the disorientation had emanated from) down to my Hara line.
In short, the Shamanic Reiki healings I had done had left me open to ‘negative’ energies that had attached themselves to me… and physically affected me. This realisation – that spirtual energy working could & did have an actual real-life effect shook me up the more I thought about it. I had intended to just do Reiki… and in doing Shamanic healing and not protecting myself, I left myself open to energies.
As I absorbed this over the next few days, something changed in me. A calling, a hardening, a shifting of spiritual thinking… ‘Warrior’ it said, deep within me. ‘Warrior’. My Healing self had realised something important: I am here not just to heal, but to protect. And it was then I realised also: My calling is that of Shaman. Not just to use Shamanic practices, but to BE a Shaman, to walk the walk, to apply myself fully to this path… and that includes protecting people.
This may not seem like much, but it was – is – a big deal. A spiritual evolution, if you will. A change in my very being. A few days after I consciously acknowledged and accepted that I am a Shaman, I had another strange effect… the same kind of disorientation, accompanied by emotionally disturbing feelings. I really thought I was going a little mad at one point, and had to fight with myself to stay in control. I’d done no other healings in this time, & can only believe that it was a test from the Universe to see if I really meant what I said about being a Shaman – did I scare easily? Would I quit?
Quit? How can I quit what I am?! No! The next day I put together a crystal Medicine bundle – Tiger’s eye; Tourmaline; Malachite; Citrineand a special flat stone I have with a Snake (my Animal guardian) engraved upon it. I also got a friend to make me up a crystal protection bracelet, and I bought some Frakincense as well. My intention is to make up a proper Medicine Bag, but I have my ‘starter kit’ for now.
I think more often now about the Darkness. Not that I am being ‘led’ to the ‘Dark side’, but if I am to Protect, then I must know, I must acknowledge, I must look at the darkness. It is nothing specific, it is thought, feeling, knowing. Darkness is there: I WILL face it. Yin-Yang – Balance, dark & light together is life. Everyone talks about the light: healing, positivity comments and posts on facebook etc, like ‘Stay strong, angels are with you’, ‘Let love surround you’… and so on. There is nothing wrong with this… but right now it irritates me, because it is not balanced with the fact we do experience darkness and negativity and we cannot just hope this goes away – we have to work with it and through it. In short – my thinking patterns have changed, shifted, to accommodate my new Being.
I have also collected feathers – something I’ve been drawn to since the Shaman calling. At first, pigeon feathers. ‘Not really appropriate for you’, says my other half, but on thinking, I disagreed. Consider: The pigeon is a humble bird, an
everyday bird, nothing special. The pigeon ADAPTED to city life, and is now a very part of the city. I wanted to wear a feather in my hair, and I did try. Not to be pretentious, not to say ‘look I’m different’, but the idea called to me, & I believe because it is a way of marking my identity to myself a reminder in the everyday world of my calling and my duty. However it wasn’t very practical and did not work very well! This has already progressed however – I very happily found some crow feathers – yes, the Dark – and put them away until I found some swan feathers (of which I am still hoping to find more). Black and white… Yin-Yang… Balance. I also have duck and geese feathers… because they are beautiful; they are part of my surroundings; they are part of my part of the Earth – it is connection. My intention is to get some purple and/or white cord, and make up feather medicine bundles, to hang up as appropriate. If I can get some clasps, then I may have a way of being able to attach and detach these feathers in my hair, as and when it seems appropriate!
The other day, I took a walk in the local park, and really noticed everything around me for the first time. I consciously connected with my surroundings, and it was beautiful. I was hoping for more swan feathers- long, full feathers, but what I got was something just as fantastic, if not more so… by dipping into closespaces half-hidden by low branches close-knit trees, and greeting the Great Willow Tree Spirit – I found two workable willow sticks! Perfect for ‘starter’/practice wands and staffs! I was so so happy.
I have also started seeing particular symbols at certain chakra points during Reiki healings on myself: first, I saw a Koi carp at the throat chakra, then I saw a Copper Beech tree at the Crown chakra. This is something entirely new to me, and something else to explore and work out the meanings and see what connects to the other chakras and how they fit.
And… I have begun chanting in the mornings. On the way walk back from the school run. Yes, I know, people must think I am mad. But it started one morning, a low sound in my throat, and carried on, as I looked at the sky, the trees… the Life around me. And it calms me, centres me… and I find it hard to stop. It is a chant to Nature, an acknowledgement and a thanks, it is just a simple ‘hey-yeyyey-heyyey-hiyi…’ sort of sound, that carries itself on.
So. In several weeks my whole Inner World has changed, and it has affected Who I Am on the outside too. I am still me, but I am different.. I have had a Spirit-evolution. It has taken me some while to abosrb and understand. I have passed through the other side… and there is a looooooooooong walk ahead of me. It is exciting, slightly daunting, and potentially life changing.
A Warrior always stands alert, ready.
A Warrior fights from the heart.
A Warrior fights to protect – Herself, her kith, kin & clan.
A Warrior stands. Always.
Your thoughts & comments are, as always, welcome.
Light & Blessings
FROM MY FACEBOOK PAGE: LATEST POST:
What’s the difference between Reiki and Shamanic Reiki? This is a good question, one I have recently pondered.
Having now done a few distant healing sessions, I realised something that I had not known before: that what I do in these sessions is not JUST Reiki – it is Shamanic Reiki.
Reiki is healing with the universal energy, healing the chakras, cleansing negative energy and filling the recipient with self-love; confidence; health; love, and light. It is seeing colours, feeling warmth/cold/tingling, seeing or sensing auras, combining Divine energy and Earth energy.
Shamanic Reiki is to have visions whilst the Reiki is at work, going on an inner quest, talking to Spirit Guardians, the healers’ own and/or the recipient’s. It is receiving and interacting with various images and persons from the universal dimension.
I have also performed psychic surgery, banished ‘spirits’ who have been present but seem to be nothing to do with the person, and spoken the recipients’ guardians.
This Shamanic Reiki was never intentional with me – the intent was always to do a Reiki healing – yet these ‘Journeys’ simply happen… it seems to be an innate working with me. I cannot do a distant healing without Journeying, apparently. It seems as though I have an Inner Shaman.
This does not happen with direct healings. Direct healings may – and do – involve angels and reiki guides, but that is natural & ‘feels’ different. Direct healings are much more focussed on the pure Reiki Light.
There is a saying, one that has been said to me quite often through the years: “When you are ready, a Teacher will appear”. Since my early years I have longed and looked for a Teacher; first for one that would help guide and develop my intuitive, or psychic, abilities, then a bit later for my Wicthcraft practices, and most recently a Shaman. But “my Teacher” has never appeared. Up until now I have always assumed that either I wasn’t as ready as I thought I was, OR that I was just unlucky and looking/being in the wrong places.
Now however, I have come to a different conclusion: that perhaps I don’t need an external Teacher; perhaps I am a solitary learner, and that my Inner Self is my Teacher, that perhaps I should trust my instincts, my own Being, my own Inner Guides and senses more. And not only that, but perhaps I do have Teachers, but not ‘official’ ones, for that is not my path… my partner, for example, is very similar to me yet has slightly different knowledge and different ways of experiencing things… he is a ‘teacher’ to me… and others who I have crossed paths with, not ‘Teaching’, but teaching in a natural, everyday way. I certainly seem to be getting on all right without said Teachers. My progress may be slower, but so far, I believe I’m following the (my) correct path.
I would be interested to hear from other Reiki healers, to understand if this is a common result for Light workers and Reiki healers, or if it is something unique to some individual workers.
And of course, I would be interested to hear anyone else’s views, opinions, suggestions, or queries on this matter.
It is an area that fascinates me. I am not a trained Shaman, not ‘officially’, but I use Shamanic practices in other areas of my life – in fact, I was going on ‘Inner Journeys’ before I realised that it was tied in with Shamanism. It seems to be an inherent part of my Spiritual life.
Light & Blessings
I had an experience last night that was so unusual and amazing that I feel I just have to share it.
I’ve not been feeling myself lately (hence the delay in blogging): I’ve been very low – in mood, energy, and physicality. I am constantly tired, and feel like I am living in shades of grey. I have not been giving my children the mother they deserve. So last night, I did a ritual to ask for help.
After casting the circle and inviting and welcoming the four elements (Air; Fire; Water: Earth), I called specifically on the Mother aspect of the Goddess to help me. I asked her to help me banish the negativity around me and in me, to give me, as a Mother and as a Woman, patience; love; joy; calmness; to be the mother I should be, to know that I can be.
I am not going to go into the full ritual here, but I want to share with you the vision that I was granted as I sat quietly, eyes closed, waiting for a message from the Mother.
I saw the Goddess – or more accurately, I should say a Goddess – with raven black hair, pale skin, and a white robe. It was night-time, a dark sky, with stars scattered above crystalline clear. The Goddess was skipping across the sea, and she held in her hand a Silver Star. I greeted her, thanking her for coming to me. (I was a bit bemused, as this was not what I had been expecting – normally visions/messages with the goddess is just words in my mind, or somewhere earthy). She looked at me and said, “You’ve lost your power.” I nodded. “Here, eat this”, and she put a gift into my hand – it was a white sphere, hand sized, like the moon or a pearl. To be given a gift in a vision is an honour and means something in the physical world. I lifted my hands to my mouth and ate half of the white sphere. The rest, at some inner direction, I placed in my heart, third eye, and crown chakra. As I did so, I felt a wave of clean energy/different energy surround me. The Goddess smiled, and I thanked her for the gift, and asked Her what I can do for her in return. She replied “Visit the Sea!”
That was it – seems like such a small price to pay, yet it is something that must, absolutely, be done – a Goddess’ favour is not something to be taken lightly.
Then, Her consort appeared beside Her and clasped hands with Her. He looked at me with clear, intense eyes, and said only “You need him” (meaning my partner). They were reminding me of the support network, and of the balance of energies that comes with a special partnership. With that, they were gone.
When I had finished the ritual, it dropped into my mind to look up online ‘Goddess of the Silver Star’. Now, for those of you have read previous posts, you know that I worship the Triple Goddess, and not any single specific deity. I wasn’t sure what this search was going to bring me – but my intuition is rarely wrong. Imagine my surprise then, when two sites came up under this search, with the Goddess Arianrhod!
I was further amazed, because Arianrhod is not a Goddess I know anything about except Her name. And when I read these sites – Her image is EXACTLY as She had appeared to me; She is a Mother aspect Goddess (as oppsed to Maiden or Crone, or representing any other aspect that many specific Goddesses do); and She is linked with the moon, stars, and sea! So everything She represents was shown true in my vision – despite my not having known anything about Her.
I felt humbled, amazed, awe-struck. And also puzzled, in a good way, that a Goddess unknown to me chose to come to me, and not only that, but grace me with a gift. This is one of the most fantastic experiences I think I can honestly say I have had – certainly the most intuitive! My happy task now is, of course, to further research Arianrhiod, and to work with Her further.
I hope you have enjoyed this journey and experience, and I welcome any comments you choose to share, and to answer any questions you may have – if I can! Please also feel free to share any similar experiences you have had.
In the name of the Goddess Arianrhod – Blessings be!
- Meeting The Triple Goddess (reikiserpent.wordpress.com)
- Arianrhod, Celtic Star Goddess (feminismandreligion.com)
I initially intended to write a post about mine and Neometheus’ Shamanic drumming experience that we enjoyed the other day, however something rather wonderful happened today that I would like to share with you. We will post soon about the drumming (I promise!)
Finding myself with a bit of free time today, I decided to do a meditation. Not on anything specific, I just had the desire to go within. As I sat down, my beautiful Obsidian crystal ball (a gift from Neometheus), that sits on our mantel piece, caught my eye. Yes, I thought, I haven’t used that in a while.
I sat on the sofa cross-legged, with the crystal ball held in both hands at my root chakra. I closed my eyes and just breathed, turning my attention inward…
Immediately, I felt the universal energy all around me, and it zipped down within me. I felt this like a lighter-than-air feeling, bright and pulsing. After a few moments, I felt the earth energy begin to push up within me. I concentrated on that, rooting myself with it… and felt not only the ‘roots’ around (underneath) me, but a connection to mountains; volcanos; plants… this was a reminder of my connection with the Oneness of all things. The earth energy felt dark and slow as it reached up within me – the very opposite of universal energy. The two energies met inside me, entwining, like two warriors gripping arms with honourable intent. My own inner energy, my Being, combined with these two outside forces, swirling and pulsing within.
Suddenly, I was with Snake. She is my Totem Spirit guide; my spirit animal. Snake has been with me for many years, and has shown and taught me much. I see her as residing in the Otherworld above my head, looking out into Space. It’s not really space, as it is just a vast blackness – it is the Void She looks out on. She does not reside or help me in the mundane realm- this, our earth realm, but is involved with Spiritual knowledge and matters.
I felt a ‘gap’ from the top of my head to below my eyes; the energy was different, there was a change of ‘colour’- more felt than seen. This is the place she resides when with me, and is also the place of the 3rd eye chakra, and the place where Spiritual energy channels through into the body, the crown chakra. I greeted Snake warmly – and She told me her name. This is the first time in the many years She has been with me that She has consented to give me this information. So it was a big deal to me: I felt honoured, warm, graced, and excited. I will not share her name here, as your personal Spirit Guide’s name is as personal as a Witch’s taken name. Suffice it to say that it is something that touched me very deeply.
I conversed with Snake, telling Her that at last, I was ready to learn. We sat, side by side, in the Void, looking out at Blackness. This is the first time I have done this in an Inner Journey- just sat with her, at her ‘home’. She emanated feelings of warmth and happiness, that we there together. Then, she danced: She swirled and whirled, her snake body circling and twining and moving in all directions – She was beautiful, radiant, elegant.
She then showed me my Path: She shot forward-straight ahead, on a road of Blackness, emptiness, of Void, with the shape of hills and valleys on either side. All Paths are (Ultimately?) nothing. This is your Path, She said.
(Does She mean that my Path is a Spiritual one, because of the fact we were in the Void? Or that any Path I choose is mine? Or something else entirely? I’m not yet sure of the meaning of this.)
After this, Snake shot up- and up, up, up… further up than I could imagine – I put a boundary on the ‘up’, but knew that really and truly there was no boundary.
There are no boundaries – you imagine a boundary because your Mind cannot conceive of No-boundary, She said.
Again we sat, side by side. Asking her permission, I slid into Snake – I became Her, to see, if possible, from Her perception. With this action, my perception of the Void opened: It widened, became deeper, I saw more of it – as if a horizon you look at suddenly expands, doubles what you take in and can see. But still I was limited by Mind – still, I knew, I did not see everything.
And that was it. The whole Inner journey took a very short time – maybe 15 or 20 minutes. It had not been my intention to go on a ‘Journey’, merely to meditate. Yet I was taken on this journey – by the outside energies and my own Spirit Animal. This makes it even more extraordinary to me.
The fact that I re-connected with Snake, and that she told me Her name, suggests to me that I am taking further steps forward along my spiritual Path. For the rest of the day, I have felt totally at peace, with no extraneous thoughts in my mind, and just ‘being’.
Thank you A—– (Snake spirit). I honour you, and I thank you for the Journey, and your message xx
I will add a post soon about connecting with Power animals/spirit guides, my relationship with mine, how I discovered them, and how you can find yours. I will add further details about the meaning of Snake spirit, as well as some others.
For now, I hope you enjoyed sharing this journey, and please comment with any questions or thoughts you have about this. And we would love to hear about any Inner Journey experiences that you have had 🙂